#2

So we found out some exciting news recently.......

Yep, it appears baby #2 is on the way. We are very excited. I am excited, nervous (shocker), happy, and feeling blessed all at the same time. We tried for 18 mos with Ayla. We've only been trying a couple of months this time. I'm so happy about that. I didn't want to have to try for over a year again. I think I'm about 6-7 weeks, so far I'm feeling great. The only thing I've noticed is that I'm tired earlier. It seems the second time around you tire out quicker.It really happened at a good time for us because the baby should be due in May so I can make it through most of the school year before the baby and then just be done after the baby. And by done I mean done. I am not going back to teaching next school year. It scares the crap out of me because I have a very stable job with a good paycheck and lots of vacation time and I went to school for a long time to get this job. But right now I want to and need to be a mom. I'm having a hard time about going back this year with Ayla, once I have two, I don't see how I can work. Plus I don't think my mother-in-law will want to watch two kids and I don't want anyone else to have that time with my kids. I already suffer from some major guilt for working for the first 2 1/2 years of Ayla's life. So I just want to write down my feelings now so that I can look back on this later this year, when I really start to get nervous about not working. I feel strongly in my heart that staying home is what I need to do. I feel that we will be broke but not homeless and not starving. I feel that the Lord will provide a way for us to be okay. Lucas has a major test coming up in a month. If he passes it he will be certified through Cisco networks which he says is worth a lot more money. So hopefully he will get a raise or perhaps after I am done working he will find a new job and we will be moving somewhere else. I don't necessarily want to move but if he will make more money hey I'm all for it. Also, Lucas will be starting online classes for his bachelors degree in network security in the next couple of months and that will bring in a lot more money eventually as well. So although it will be hard, it isn't forever. While I am home with two kids I can tutor kids after school in reading. My friend does this in MA and charges $50 an hour! So that will bring in some money. I can also possibly find a job teaching at a preschool or a daycare center and take the kids with me. This will help with money and also my sanity. I think I'm going to need to do something to get me out of the house on a daily basis. I have never not had a job since I was 16. Anyway, that is the big news at our house. My first appointment with my OB is Sep 21, so there will be more updates to follow. Students come back on Tuesday so it's officially the beginning of the work year for me! UGH! Just have to make it a good one a go out with a bang. And when I'm feeling especially scared and afraid of what we will do I will have this post to read. Because while I am writing this I feel confident that we can do it and the Lord will bless us because it is what's right for our family. Sorry if I'm rambling I think this post is more for my future benefit than anything else. Thanks for all the well wishes we have got so far. Ayla seems to be excited although she doesn't really understand and right now loves babies, but will she when there is one living with us? We'll see! When we ask her 'Where's the baby?" she pats my belly and then pats her belly so apparently we are sharing this pregnancy. Hope she doesn't get the morning sickness! haha.